growth is not linear

Growth is not linear, we revisit a sufferable pattern time and time again, each time slightly more equipped and more resourced to relate with it a little differently, a little more skillfully.

It is all too tempting to catch a first glimpse of some inner enemy and want to jump straight to "Okay how do i fix it", or "Tell me what to do, I'll change immediately". I see this approach and while it is well-meaning, it is ultimately a little bit immature. 

It has the energy of a game of whack-a-mole.  It lacks a quality of receptivity and introspection that allows a person to be come into much deeper relationship with "the problem".

It moves from fear rather than curiousity.  It moves from discomfort rather than capacity. 

I love this poem below because it speaks so beautifully to the journey that unfolds when I am working with a leader, and we stumble on a deep hole. 

Amazing! We found something important. Your job is to do absolutely nothing about it except pay more attention to when it arises, and when you fall in. 

Do that for a week, at least.  It's surprisingly effective. 

Awareness is such a big part of the work of change and we seldom give it enough rope because remaining fully conscious as we move through our extremely busy days is actually quite exhausting, and our brains are trying to helps us conserve energy in an already taxed system.

All this to say - not only does it take courage and discipline to face the painful parts, it also takes energy. Literal energy. Actual calories, to lay down new neural pathways.  And not only does it take energy but it also tends to go much smoother when we add a healthy does of patience and self-compassion into the mix. 

Yes, it can be a treachourous journey.  But don't forget to laugh at yourself along the way, and please do not forget to celebrate enthusiastically, when you find yourself going down a different street. 

Godspeed!